Well, thank God that’s over…
As previously stated, I LOVE the holidays. Even more so this year because and I coordinated with/lied to chef to have a number of consecutive days off leading up to Christmas day. But I had to pay the piper in a major way before that happened (nearly 85 hours in one week).
My last day before my break was the night of the staff holiday party. In typical hotel fashion, our “holiday” party was Hawaiian luau themed. Everyone was strongly encouraged to bring their best tropical island attire and warned against bringing “outside” guests in order to keep costs down. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, insensitive or country, but I miss the good old days when the theme of a holiday party was… I don’t know… Christmas! I can’t do a drunken, sultry version of “Santa Baby” (a la Eartha Kitt) in a Hawaiian shirt!
To make matters worse, the hotel wanted THE RESTAURANT to prepare the food. So our invitation to the company party came with the following implied caveats – stay in the kitchen, make all the food and have limited interactions with the rest of the staff.
What I found even more interesting is that even though the kitchen staff were livid when they got wind of this, I seemed to be the only one who stayed that way…
I’m not someone who can be placated with a plate of food (that I had to make), a cheap lei and and an even cheaper Mai Thai and then be expected to go back into the kitchen and continue frying coconut shrimp for coworkers who work half the hours I do. and not to be a snob… but if you’ve ever put a tray of free shrimp out before a bunch of drunk, blue collar workers and wannabe executives then you know what a scene this is.
The hotel closed the restaurant for dinner service on the day of the party and so after lunch service while the hotel staff plastered hideous decorations in the dining room, I took this opportunity to go to the office and type my formal letter of resignation. Prior to this, my departure was still only hearsay.
and after all, what are the holidays without a little drama? If I was going to be made unhappy and chained to a deep fryer then I definitely wanted my announcement to be a dark cloud that loomed over the party. One way or another, I was going to be talked about.
Hey, did you hear that that slutty sous chef just quit and is going to Paris?
The letter to chef was beautifully drafted. I thanked him for the amazing opportunity, praised him for his talents as a chef and mentor but also expressed my desire to explore other (non-hotel related) opportunities and I gave a firm date for my last day.
It…is…official. Send.
I’m sort of “doubly” talented. I’m also more than happy to lay it alllll out on the table if someone wants to push an issue with me but my specialty is being passive aggressive. No one does it better than me. I can shut a room down with five words or less. I can still recall my silent disappointment as a five year old after receiving a salmon colored Care Bear instead of the blue one that I spoke about for weeks prior. I quietly left it under the Christmas tree and retreated to my bedroom to play with other toys that were not a total failure. Looking back, I’m not at all proud of my behavior that day but my point is, if I can ruin a Christmas for people I love with minimal effort then making a bunch of people I hate feel guilty at a shitty holiday party would be a total cakewalk.
About an hour into the party, our HR director made the mistake of coming into the kitchen. Now… I feel like… if you’re part of the corporate team and you know full well that there are members of the staff who are not going to be able to participate in the festivities AND as an extra slap in the face, make them responsible for serving food to the participating staff, then you should have an idea of the type of greeting you’re going to receive when you enter in. I was poised to attack. We made eye contact and my eyelids immediately sunk, as if to foreshadow how a verbal exchange was going play out. I was frying coconut shrimp while the catering manager waited to carry it out to the dining room and one of the other cooks was saucing some “tropical” chicken concoction when she greeted us. The other cook happily replied back but I stood my ground. I said nothing…
“Are you guys going to come out to the party?”
That’s it.
Game on.
I need to end this. For both our sakes…
“I don’t think this party is for me. I’m clearly just the hired help.”
She gave me one of those “sad faces” that someone does when they “sympathize” but don’t really have a response.
“No. I won’t be coming out.”
“Well, can I get you anything? Do you want me to bring you a Mai Thai?”
“No.”
I then turned my back to her and continued frying shrimp, that really didn’t need attention but I knew that I had to conclude this dialogue with the bitterness I felt it deserved.
She quickly left the kitchen.
When I turned back around, the catering events manager, also tasked with working the party and who I normally hate was grinning from ear to ear and replied, “That was awesome.”
“Merry Christmas.” I replied. She got the joke.
I don’t know if the HR manager said something to the GM of the hotel but he entered the kitchen shortly after and I wouldn’t even look at him. I was so pissed off and prepared for an even more aggressive blowout, if he pushed me. and I was prepared to quit on the spot, which would have ended up hurting me way more than him, but I’m willing to go to any lengths to make a statement. No matter how stupid. I overheard him thanking chef for all the great work from the kitchen and how much they appreciated it and I nearly vomited into the deep fryer. I have GOT… to get the f$%k outta here. I have 40 days… and 4 paychecks to go… then it’s nothing but eggplants, pastry, cheese, cigarettes and brooding, French bass players.
Chef walked out into the dining room with the GM and returned a few minutes later with a grin on his face.
“He knows your pissed… and he’s concerned.”
“Me….? I didn’t say anything, chef…”
“You can give the mean face when he’s around… but WE are gonna have a shot.”
Very well, chef…
I’ll enjoy myself for a second while no one is looking.
Line it up.
That absolutely SUCKS! How dare they throw a party for everyone and make you work! The LEAST they could do is hire it out. If they wanted to be cheap they should have given adequate notice so that the food could be prepared in advance and then HIRE out servers! they suck. Love you honey! We have to hang out before you leave!